make each word more valuable on your website

By Jason Sherrill
Posted on Jul 7, 2007

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If you've ever sat through one of my "Writing for the Web" lectures, you've heard these statements:

• After you've written your first draft, rewrite it, but use 1/2 as many words (hint: destroy adjectives and eradicate passive voice)
• Eliminate flowery words. Your readers will decide whether your products are "great" or "exceptional" or "valuable".
• Don't write a paragraph when a list will do

This advice is equally applicable to offline writing as well, as the following cake mix instructions illustrate.

I'll just beat on low for 2 1/2 minutes

Rather than telling me to "Beat...on low speed for 30 seconds. Continue beating on low speed 2 minutes.", the author (Betty Crocker???) could've said "Beat on low speed for 2 1/2 minutes." The result is the same, but with fewer words and less confusion. I read those instructions three times since I thought that I must have missed something. "Why would Betty tell me to beat on low for 30 seconds, and then beat on low again for 2 minutes?", I thought.

When writing your website content, evaluate every word by asking this question:

If I eliminate this word, will the reader care? If the answer is no, then delete it.

For example, consider this content from a credit union website:

Great fixed rate loans for new and used cars at unbelievable rates. Our best rates are available to members with strong credit histories and who enjoy the convenience of direct deposit at [XYZ Credit Union]. If your credit is less than perfect, we can still offer standard rates that really shine!

Instead, we could write:

We provide fixed rate loans for new and used cars, starting at 5.99% for members with good credit who also use our direct deposit service. Our rates are only slightly higher if your credit is less than perfect.

We've eliminated 25% of the words (38 words in our version verus 51 in theirs) without changing the message one bit.

The fewer words you use, the more valuable each one is in communicating your message. Your readers will appreciate your brevity.